Renewal, to everything there is a season

Grief, Season of Renewal ‘To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: …. a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance’ Ecclesiastes 3 On April 7, 2021 a little after midnight, my life partner of 60 years died and with him, I lost my identity. As a result, I began to question if we collectively view life differently during times of mourning or dance. Familiar with the concept of environmental seasonal shifts, I decided to compare it to working through the impact of grief, a winter of seasonal loss. From this perspective, a shift from mourning to dance is dependent on the stability of its underlying soil: bedrock – oneness with a spiritual self, underlying trust in God, subsoil - immediate family support, leaching layer - physical wellness, surface layer - mental wellness, surface soil - habitat, stability of environment, and organic soil – renewal of relationships, events, and or life experiences. In other words, factors of renewal that enable recovery of a healthy lifestyle. Christian GriefShare for example places emphasis on an acronym DEER. Stay hydrated, drink. Eat, schedule dinner with family and friends. Exercise, schedule therapy exercise and regularly work out. Rest, take timeouts as you work through the emotional impact of a horrific lifestyle altering experience. Why? I experienced a more stable lifestyle when I was exposed to people who and or events that made me feel a sense of spirituality; people who had patience, tolerance, were a safe place to fall when life crisis occurred; companions who were willing to share interest in activities that are important to me; who are respectful of the fact that there are times when I need space to be me; of my silence, need for quiet time; of my need to enjoin with others of similar interests; those who work with not against achieving life goals and objectives, have focus on being a 'best friend' relationship. Although there are those who interpret such a list as a ‘wish list’, I rapidly learned that in order to recover a sense of lifestyle balance, such people and events are the so to speak nutrients which worked best for me. Presently, you could say I have travelled through a winter of loss, death; and conducted a ‘soil test’. For, I am somewhat aware of the strengths and weakness of my foundation and accepted it as support for my transition into a new identity; a life that no longer includes my former life partner. Still, as they say, it's not the storm but how you dance in the rain that matters. So, what is my new identity? I am a widow, not a wife. I am a mother of 5 adult children and grandmother of 6 grandchildren. What are my interests? I am interested in gardening, nature, habitat, music, arts, reading, community events, performing arts and sharing such events with family and friends. How will I spend my time? I plan to spend my time catching up on neglected outdoor projects, property management, repair of my neglected home; and attempt to revive activities in arts as well as share such events with family and friends, renew and make new friendships, and commit to church involvement. In other words, STAY IN THE PRESENT – take one day at a time, enable a new normal. Nevertheless, perhaps a more important factor is know that I don’t need to walk this journey alone. I can lean on a sense of spiritual assistance. For, I can sow seeds of renewal: Faith, Hebrews 11:1 - Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see; Confidence, 2 Corinthians 3:4-5 - Such confidence we have through Christ before God. 5 Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God; Courage, Isaiah 41:10 - So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand; Memories, Philippians - 1:3 Thanksgiving and Prayer, I thank my God every time I remember you; Love, Romans 8:37-39 - In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38, For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord; And hope, Psalm 71:14 - Hope As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more. So, I pray for spiritual guidance, peace - It is my prayer that my hubby knows he is loved. He is loved by all whom his life touched. Thank God for loving me and always watching over me, providing a source of comfort and trust – a soft place to fall whenever I faced life crisis. Heal my broken heart and bind up my wounds – be thankful for his commitment to close the broken hearted. Help me recover from a sense of emptiness due to loss. Heal me from the experience and guide me as I move forward. Keep my heart safe and restore me to wholeness. Help me find love again, open my heart to others. Teach me to learn great lessons from this experience and to trust in his plans for my future. While I will never fully understand the why of my loved one’s choices, am thankful to him for providing an experience of a love that made me feel so cherished and protected that I didn’t simply trust but entrusted myself to another person. I pray that my hubby has found peace - refuge, ‘under his wings you will find refuge, his faithfulness will be your shield’. Psalm 91 And pray that God will help me find peace for my loss – recover from a sense of overwhelming loneliness. Heal my broken heart. In Jesus name I pray, Amen. You could say, having experienced a season of death and loss, winter, I made a choice to scatter seeds of renewal, experience a rebirth through spring. And, as a result, I am beginning to feel whole again. So, won’t you join me, as I continue to walk step by step through a process of grieving, recover a sense of renewed life, an opportunity to again experience love, laughter and joy, an opportunity to not focus on loss but a legacy of having been loved by someone who made me feel so safe that I didn't simply trust but entrusted myself to him. In other words, successfully shift my focus from individual steps to ascending a staircase that leads into renewal of life,’ a time to laugh; a time to dance’. And, perhaps, my life-garden will once again flourish with love, laughter and joy. If you made such a journey, would you choose to focus on ‘weep and mourn’ or’ laugh and dance’? Would you be able to shift your focus from grief to a legacy of garden renewal, enabling stability of a healthy lifestyle? Dedicated to the memory of Garland (Bubba) Malcom Wright Suggested Readings – New International Version Bible Second Firsts by Christina Rasmussen Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa Terkeurst Transitions, making sense of life’s changes by Susan Bridges From Strength to Strength by Arthur C. Brooks Published by VA Writers Journal 2023, August 2023

Counting the Days until Spring

 Are you counting the days until it is officially Spring? In central Virginia, today is a typical January weather pattern - morning temperatures in the 30s which are predict to drop by afternoon due to incoming rain snow mixture. So, if you are like me, you are counting the days until Spring.

early Spring woodland fairy garden



Earlier this year an event 'national garden catalog' month inspired gardeners nation-wide. Why? It was an opportunity to identify plants well-known for their sustainability and explore new additions. For those who use on-line resources, there is a web site Cyndi's Catalog of Garden Catalogs which provides access to almost all categories of landscape garden supplies.

Niche resources can also be identified through the option of 'google search' or national resource organizations such as the National Gardening Association or American Horticulture Society as well as regional garden clubs, community Extension Services, or horticulture educational sites such as public gardens.

In addition to traditional garden catalogs, there are other creative ways to celebrate arrival of Spring. On weather permitting days, host community 'green clean up' days, schedule a review of a plant propagation book, schedule a seed exchange or plant swap, or include a seasonal special project such as 'plant a row for the Hungary'.

As one of the people who dig in the dirt, I challenge you to make a yearly focus of 'plant more plants'. For, presently, I’ve already reviewed planting projects and placed orders for additional plants. In fact, using the 'winter sow' method, I've started trays of early spring veggie seedlings in order to jump start a Spring harvest. So, be aware it is not too late to celebrate the arrival of Spring with creative activities. In fact, perhaps, a more important question than ‘are you counting the days until Spring’ is “what are you doing in anticipation of the opportunity of another planting season?

Winter Landscapes, identifying the bones of design

 While many regions experience winter storm advisories, others experience above average seasonal warmth. Still, all share some form of a bare landscape. So, the winter season remains an ideal time of year to look critically at the backbone of a garden, the elements which year-round are fixtures in a landscape.

As flowers fade and only skeletons of perennials or bare structures of deciduous trees and shrubs stand, evergreens dominate the landscape. Other structures, such as arbors, fences, walls and even benches also stand out. Carefully placed sculptures, specimen plants or garden ornaments become focal points of winter garden interest.

 

Well-designed landscapes do provide the opportunity of outdoor interest year-a-round. So, what can be used to create seasonal interests? A few ideas are:

• highlight larger tree trunks with up-lighting which enables dramatic night time views.
• install groupings of tall ornamental grasses or interesting bark plants such as Red or Yellow Twigged Dogwoods.

• install Hollies which provide berry bearing branches for the holidays, and for months afterwards.
• place low growing evergreens around a house foundation; specifically, including those of unique color such as dwarf Blue Spruces or Golden False Cypresses.
• install small trees such as Paper Bark Maple or Stewartia which have interesting tree trunks.

Believe it or not, there are plant as well as design options that can make a winter landscape come alive, be eco-chic. Eye-pleasing winter landscapes first and foremost consist of an underlying year-round structural design. Still, it is soft-scapes – plants – which create seasonal color and texture. So, instead of thinking of a winter landscape in terms of it being dormant or evergreen, plan and install a few plants that contrast with traditional options.

Michael McConkey, owner of Edible Landscaping located in Afton Virginia, says, “I’ve spent many years growing, grafting and testing hundreds of plant varieties; in fact, I've named many of them myself. Through selecting only the easiest-to-care-for plants, which need little or no preventive maintenance and look terrific in your yard, I’ve discover many plants that do-well year around.” Related to winter landscapes, McConkey suggests winter blooming apricot, Japanese apricot or Ume, which he says, “I’ve seen its winter blooms and picked fruit by July.” Another option he suggests is Arkansas Black Apple, a small tree that bears excellent tasting winter apples. McConkey further says, “Sheng persimmon has exceptionally large, glossy green leaves, moderate fall coloration and bears 3-4" orange fruit that linger well after frost and of course, a winter landscape should not exclude Arp Rosemary, a plant winter-hardy through Zone 6 that has handsome bushy spruce-like leaves.”

Japanese apricot or Ume adds bloom to a winter landscape.

Although evergreen trees and shrubs remain the prominent contributors to a winter landscape, larger, cover-story trees should not simply be installed to add texture or frame a garden but provide winter shelter for birds and, if strategically selected, be food sources. “Most nut-bearing trees,” says McConkey bear well-past frost. And, their bounty could either remain untouched as a habitat food source or be harvested for human consumption. Under-story trees and shrubs are another layer of habitat which if berry-bearing, bring into the landscape further opportunities for contrast of color and texture.”

Only Jack Frost's incompatibility affects the choice of edibles that can be companion planted with a winter landscape. So, become aware of your area’s cool weather vegetable planting strategies.

Because winter soil and air temperatures vary according to geographic location, planting zone as well as back yard micro-climatic conditions, identify the parameters for an edible groundcover planting. Generally speaking, broccoli, cauliflower and the entire group of crops in the cool season family - lettuce, onion, parsnip and spinach - seeds germinate in soil temperatures as low as 35o F. Seeds for other vegetable favorites such as cabbage, carrots and celery germinate in soil temperature as low as 40o F. All of these vegetables, and more, have the potential of being suitability for a winter landscape.

A few ‘tried and proven’ personal favorites can be obtained through The Cooks' Garden located in Pennsylvania and Renee’s Garden located in California. One option is Cook’s Garden carrot custom five variety blend. The fern-like leaf structure lends a soft green texture to the landscape and underlying ready to pick yellow, orange or white carrots provide an ongoing array of edible vegetables. Another option, a year round lettuce collection, also provides seasonal leaf color as well as ready to pick salad mixtures.

 

As a hands-on gardener, I've found Renee's Garden products to work-well for my central Virginia garden. As a developer of seeds, Renee is viewed as a pioneering innovator in introducing vegetable, flower and herb choices for gardeners and gourmet restaurants. While the choice of quality suppliers can seem endless, I have found two others, D. Landreth Seed Company located in Pennsylvania and the Southern Exposure Seed Exchange located in Mineral Virginia that work-well for me. Both vendors participate in Virginia horticulture events such as the Heritage Harvest Festival held at the Thomas Jefferson Center for Historic Plants and have outstanding lines of heirloom seed choices.

As you progress into the spring season, evaluate your landscape. It is never too late to add interest and color. Evaluate the underlying structural elements and then, if necessary, adjust the hardscape. Then, evaluate the design’s expanded use of trees and shrubs. And, finally, focus on the installation of seasonal surprise elements: a colorful edible landscape. Make your landscape more than an eye-pleasing winter design, a garden that consists of traditional plants. Make it edible!

As gardeners, we not only have opportunities to make a difference through personal choices but can influence others through our use of green space, both rural and urban. For additional eco tips and strategies, visit web site TheWrightScoop.

 Side Bar: Recommended Resource:

• Edible Landscaping, www.ediblelandscaping.com , 1-800-524-4156
• The Cooks' Garden, www.cooksgarden.com, 800-457-9703
• Renee’s Garden, www.reneesgarden.com , 888-880-7228
• D. Landreth Seed Company, www.landrethseeds.com, 800-654-2407
• Southern Exposure Seed Exchange, www.southernexposure.com, 540-894-9480
• Thomas Jefferson Center for Historic Plants, www.heritageharvestfestival.com.